its 12 in the morning & im still waiting. you made me wait for nothing, you made me excited for nothing. here's the truth, i still love you. p/s: 3rdmonthsary

overdue pictures of RacialHarmony. i still got alot more but its with Syakir & Mal ; they have not upload it in the pc * slaps forehead *

i was doing my art reasearch just now when i came across this blog about the african style of braiding hair. suddenly, i find it interesting & did a research on it. appreantly, it only cost 30-50 bucks for the whole head. for me, its quite cheap & i thought of giving it a try, what do you think? i need your opinions. but does it suit my circle face?

do you know i've tried & tried to get you otta my mind but i don't get any better. as each day goes by & im lost & confused. i didn't mean to ramble on but there's alot of feelings that still remain since you been gone. i guess you thought i would put it all behind me but it seems there's always something right there to remind me like a silly joke or something on the tv. boy, it ain't easy when i hear our sone, i get the same old feeling. wish i could press rewind & turn back the hands of time. did you know i still kept all your pictures & us because i don't have the strength to part with them. i tried to ease the way your kisses taste but somethings i can never forget. i shouldn't be telling you this but IM STILL NOT OVER YOU!

this is the second post of the day.

i am alr starting to feel the pressure. prelims are coming SOON. i wanna get over & done with it quickly so that i can sit for Ns quickly too. that way, i can have my holidays faster, right? though i hate the fact that i actually have to study. i P.ROMISED momma that i will study hard & im doing it right now but not alot. im the type who can't keep the mouth shut during lessons, crack jokes & laugh laugh laugh unecessarily. im not clever & i NEED to pay attention & understand but i can't do all that, maybe because of the people surrounding me? but i can't blame them because when its their turn to keep the mouth shut, i'll be THE ONE talking to myself, singing & laughing which makes them join in with what i were doing. what should i dooo? i can't concentrate! myfgod.

im pissed with H & gonna blog about him now!
ihate you, goody-goody bootlicker. stop putting on an act infront of girlfriends & me. they maybe comfy with you hanging around us (maybe NOT!) but IM DEFINITELY NOT okay with that. you're a guy, go & hang with your guy friends instead of us. i know, guys do hang around with girls sometimes but not always & all the time right? you call yourself a guy but you don't look & act like one! you don't do what other guys do & your way of walking, talking, screaming, even you're action aren't like one. im disgusted by it, very. you're like a .. GAY! don't get mad when i call you a gay because even other girls call you that but not infront of you, maybe because they don't wish to hurt your feelings.

you're alr like that & your mouth, MINTAK AMPUN, like a GIRRL! far worst than us. you attention seeker biatch, stop influencing girlfriends with yout UNTRUTH stories, news & infos please! i bet about the divorce of your parents aren't true too. you were happy-happy-ing all the way except for recess. you tried emo-ing & get sympathy from us, right right right? it its true, you would be feeling sad the whole day in school & won't even have the mood to LOL. if you wish to make up a story or lie, know how to do & be clever about it. big time hypocrite. infront of mine girlfriend, you tried being nice to her & blah blah blah but once she's gone from the scene, you'll start your nonsense. say this & that bad thing about her. do you know you're saying all that to the wrong person. if i were to tell all that what you told us about girlfriend, you gonna be a dead-meat. one last thing, stop digging we, girls secrets & being a kaypoh! MYOB because i know you can't keep secrets & will spread it to the others.

p/s: bootlicker, you should know who you're & im sure you're gonna stumble upon my blog & read this. oh, try listening to the song Take a Bow by Rihanna because im dedicating that song especially for you.

the world is black, & the hearts are cold.

why isn't there everyone or anyone who will ever appreciate all the big or even the tiniest things i did for them & when i point it out, they'd turn it back at me, i shouldn't play the pointing game at the very beginning or i shouldn't have made sacrifices at all. i always tell myself to stop being nice & stop making the world a better place but again & again i go against it. i guess, its nature. when will anyone ever see the good things i've done for them, realised that it takes effort & time to sacrifice something.

right now, i just wish there's boyfriend to comfort me & take away all the pain. or maybe just NEH BRO who could take over his place while he's MIA.

p/s: i'll rather be a loner. i'll be more independent. i'll be less hurtful. i'll be more happier. i'll be what i wanna be. it's like way better off.

i'll just sum up what happened during my week of school - though nothing extraordinary happened - in no particular order / days / what not.

it has been a tiring & sad week. keeping mum for 8 hours is so not fun.

over the weekend, i buried myself with books & went studying with shahidah & OBFF. i kinda miss her. now that we're back together again, i shall treasure this friendship & never to let it go again.

while having fun studying with them, momma text & told me that grandpa ( father's side ) is already in the critical state but is still at home ; not yet brought to hospital as he dosen't want to. on the wee hours of sunday morning, we got a call from them saying that grandpa died at auntie's home at 2.35. we rushed over to Admiralty to get the ceremony over & done. now, im just left with a grandma (mom's side) & i've p.romised to myself not be rude to her after i experienced with grandpa's death.

dear diary, lemme tell you about my story. i feel that it's rather sad.

i don't know if this is right or wrong. we had an "argument" recently & now we're not on talking terms. all i want is for everything to be in the right place & everyone being happy. is that too much to ask for? she told me that she is my friend & yet i got treated like this by her. sometimes, i just felt that i was being used. i feel so left out. who was there everytime she needed someone to be with when there's no one around her? should i make the first move & apologize, when i did nothing wrong? maybe to her this maybe stupid & a small matter but hey, she hurt my feelings, okay?! i won't ignore anyone without any reasons. angry is not the exactly the right word. i don't know what im supposed to do now. confusion is all over me. this is how i feel about our friendship since the FIRST argument

P/S: i still NEED a friend like you

RACIAL HARMONY DAY!


more pictures, coming right up :)

* click on the pictures to view the larger version*

SYF Carnival in the Heartlands (West) at IMM

the Malay dancers of Dazhong pri (only the ones who dance during the SYF ; only half were choosen) got invited to perform for the carnival at Garden Plaza. sinced both Shaiful & Wiyah are performing, the whole family came down, to support. watch the video above to see them dancing.

Pictures of Me & Siblings. First is Shaiful followed by Adawiyah & finally Azhar. Wiyah look pretty with makeups on. i almost couldn't recognized her when she went up to the stage because believe it or not, eventhough she has performed for so many times, i've never seen her like that.

so.. im gonna end this post with a picture of us together. its a bit blur but nevermind, at least there's something. CREDITS for pictures & video : FATHER! he don't know how to take, that's why everything turns out like this.

oh before i forget, this is the batik pictures i've promised you people! * here you go * okay, mine on the left, jenna's on the right. isn't it obvious that jenna's batik is nicer than mine? HAH! more details than mine. over & done with, concentrating on the 5 boards now...

i enjoyed Art today simply because i was sticking with dearest SB most of the time. to any of the art students, if you noticed who i've been with throughout the whole 2 hours, you should know im talking about :D helping SB out with the batik coursework gave me the opportunity to talk privately with him, teasing & joking around. oh, more of that coming right up again, this monday because there's Art! * yayee *

had my Mother Tongue oral just now. oh my.. the topic for the conversation part was super easy & i bet, bet the people who took their oral yesterday must be darn jealous because we got the easy ones. compared my English with Mother Tongue oral, i think i did much much better in the Mt. so much of feeling nervous .. & the hillgrovians students are not as bad as what i thought! shouldn't have said all those things. deng!

aftermath, head to gombak mrt station to collect my pretty pretty green star hoodies & someone gonna be darn jealous when she sees it. talking bout it alr just make her oh-so-crazy, what about when she see it with her own eyes, right? * laughoutloud *

a blink of an eye, that moment was gone
you come & go as you wish, that what am i?
my mind's in a whirl now

" trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met "

are we back to square one? are you gonna make me yearn for you again? are you going to get my hopes all high again then push me back down? are you gonna play with me like you did before? am i just one of your toys you keep away in a huge back? what am i to you? just something you can toy around with as & when you like? please don't because it's bleeding. where has " the love that we share " & the iloveyous, youlovemes disappeared to? was loving you a crime? were we an accident? YOU LEFT WITHOUT WORDS.

when you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you & so are the words i need to hear to always get me through the day & make it okay. i've been wondering after you left, what were you trying to prove to me in that one patethic month relationship? you said my previous-wasted-almost-2-years-relationship guy was a jerk for doing this & leaving me just like that but so are you! i let you in my life for the second time & after this, there won't be any third time simply because im giving you up.

you're just one of the sweet talk little jerkies. i don't want anything to do with you, playa. indeed, you're just another pretty face. i've done my part, i've said what i wanted to & i don't wished to listen to yours. oh, does your mia means a silent break?

Still together :)

i've got good news, baby! guess what?! im done with my batik coursework & now i just need to concentrate on the 5 boards *yayee* i've snap some picture of it but its with Jennanana now. i will post the pictures on my next entry :D just wait!

PLUS, im getting mine GREEN star hoodies tml. how slawsome is that?! oh yah, be jealous to that someone hokay?! its GREEN, mind you! * evil laugh *

___________________________________________________________________

i got so fucking pissed off when i was on the way home just now. that biatch just had to board that bus, like there's no any other bus, & after that, she purposely blocked my way. you know, compared mine size with yours, mine is much bigger, i could easily push you away but yet i don't want to with the reason you're my friend sister. i wanted to alight but she blocked my way & i ended up alighting one bus stop after my usual bus stop. how can i not be mad? i could reach home at 3.10 but i ended up reaching at 3.16. a difference of 6 minute & every minute is precious to me. i can do anything with that 6 minutes. i could save the world. another thing is that, i don't like you thats why i got pissed with you easily.

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY LYNN!! :D:D
auntie turns 30 today but has yet to get married. how saddening. *prays* & do you fucking believe that she is 30 years old?! P/S: pictures can be deceiving

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG AUNTIE! the whole family celebrated her birthday together in advance, yesterday.

* after eating, while waiting for second uncle to arrive *

* cake time *cut,cut,cut* *

* the whole family , playing games. they even won some prizes *

* below, is dearest nenek. *

* open of the gifts, she was elated *

im gonna end this post with pictures of mine siblings except for the second one, with the birthday girl :)

I HAD FUN & so do they! thanks to the birthday girl herself for organising :D

isn't this a little too late? im not sad with you but im sad for all the time i had to waste after i learned the truth. your heart is in the place where i no longer wanna be. i knew, there'd be a day where you'll be set free because im always being sick & tired. your love isn't fair & my dreams won't happened in reality because they are fairytales & fantasy that were torn apart. somewhere along the way, i've lost my piece of mind. my brain is so wired & my eyes are so tired. did i just hear someone tell a lie? did i hear someone's distant cry? you destroyed me with a cry while i was sleeping. im sick of love that never lasts - this kind of love i'm so sick of. i see couples in the window, i watch them till they are gone & they leave me hanging. im love sick. sometimes the silence can lead me thinking, are you true? i think of you & wonder. i'd give anything to be with you. im sick of love, i wish i'd never met you & i'm trying to forget you.

first & foremost, i would like to wish ..

NURSAHEERA ZEE , HAPPY SWEET 16th BIRTHDAY!

this is supposed to be yesterday but nevermind, at least, i still wish her on her birthday itself & its a waste you weren't present in school on "your day" . i hope dearest little finger of yours recover & get well, soon! enjoy darling!

both fatin & eera are back in school today :) welcome back, ORIX(S)! hohoho.

good news! after this, i don't have to stay back in school everyday anymore because my batik coursework is almost done. next meeting with mr rahim will be the ironing of the batik & afterwhich, i can wrap it alr! i even plan to complete the 5 boards by this week, which i think, i can't because there will be family gathering this weekend *yayee* we will be celebrating auntie's 30th birthday as well. i still haven't got any gifts for her, shall get it over & done with tml.

* mine batik - i know, its UGLY, right?! so SHUTUP! comments disallowed.


oh shiat! i have piles of homework waiting for me to get it done. there are English, Maths, Chemistry & especially Mother Tongue which i've been delaying it for a long time. it was given before school close for the June holiday & i can't believe, it is still not yet completed. thats not all, i still have to revise for my upcoming tests & prelims which is next month. oh well, i can only blame myself for getting distracted by the internet & hogging on to the pc for hours & hours.

i think, i should go & get some rest now :)