1 more day left *jumps jumps*

TIMECHECK : 12.25am

i just got back from Geylang Serai half an hour ago. was there with OBFF&_ & YAYA&_ for the Open Ceremony of Geylang Serai Hari Raya Light Up. i got annoyed/irritated at times because of that problematic guy but overall it was awe-some! OBFF & i had fun crazying, catching up & sharing stories, critisizing passer-bys especially the throwing of babis & small kiddos while waiting for Farrel & Fitri to arrive. Our purpose of going there was just to see Farrel & Fitri face to face but we only managed to see them through the scree -_- no difference, might as well i stayed at home & watch CintaFitri rather then going all the way there to see how they look like in real life. we were just a feww cums away from them, if only we got there earlier.. TELL ME WHOS FAULT IZZIT RIGHT NOW? obff, obff, obff *giggles*

8.32pm was the arrival of Fitri & Farrel but was delayed till 9plus. fireworks was shown for two times & for both times i was screaming like a madd woman, it was beau-ti-ful i tell you! i got videos of it but couldn't upload because blogger is being sucha bitch. so, next time yeah yeah? we left halfway to meet YAYA&_ & off to HaigRoad for our late dinner-cum-supper. trained back home & reached close to 12. upon reaching Gombak, i ran from the station to doorstep, not because im scared of parents locking me out but because im scared of Mr Ghost. all because of OBFF& stories *roll eyes* zip open & throw it up high - GLADIATOR WAS THE KILLER. sorry MS LEG :D

i still feel that yesterday's trip to school was a waste. both W & U didn't turn up for teacher's day thang. i think i better hit bed now because i gotta wake up at 7 tml. ITS SEVEN MIND YOU! what the fuck.

friend : next week is alr N level, have you studied?
me : FOR REAL? (referring to the N level) no.
friend : duh! * giving me the -_- look *
..
teacher : you people, next week is alr your N & you're still slacking, sleeping during exams blah blah blah ..
alep : WHAT? N LEVEL NEXT WEEK?
me : ahh, duhh!
..

..

infact, the first paper is less than a week & im not prepared yet. im not kidding, you'll see me happy-go-lucky-ing with the no-worried-face in school, everyday. proof? from the prepatory exam that we had just now. im supposed to be studying & mugging for SS last weekend but i didn't because i was sick. as a result, during SS just now, i didn't do anything. either i was busy sleeping or joking with the people around me. nono, not only me, but the whole lot of 4N2. i can see Mr Pandian shaking his head as well as Ms Yee who didn't even bother to push, forced us to do. same goes for English, for the first half an hour, everyone was quiet & did their papers but after Mr Mazlee step out of the class, everyone turns into a devil ; do the stuff that we always do. for the next few days, will be the same too, i guess.

im still hackcare-ing with studies, how to get promoted to sec 5 this way?! if this goes on, i think i'll just have to forget about going to sec 5 & continue studying at ITE which likely will happen. i don't have any confidence & there's nothing to motivate me to study, howww? *sighs*

its making me stress! blame the goverment.. blame the goverment..

ps: teachers day, this friday. W & U will be coming down to school, i think. pray for me, IMT! *smile widely*

*whinewhinewhine* pity momma because she had to hear me whinning early in the morning.

its 6.32 in the morning & i just woke up. i slept quite late last night but i managed to get myself infront of the pc this early thanks to my room-mate who pass all her germs to me. she kept coughing & sneezing like a mad dog & i had trouble sleeping through the night because the little wine flowing out from my nose non-stop causes me so much discomfort. i've been stuffing my nose with tissues, even when im asleep & since i couldn't get to sleep last night, i took a whole lot of panadols & act as if it's some kind of sleeping pills. it works literally but only for the first few hours. if this goes on, i don't know how im going to survive for school tml. i can't skip school & take MCs because im having mock prepatory exam this week *sighs*

*humming to the tune of the birthday song* HAPPY SWEET 16th to NUR RAMIZAH! :D stop disturbing me you katak & orix dosen't want to huggy huggy you :p & oh, i forgot to mention *chap teng2, chap teng2* this on the previous entry, HAPPY BELATED SWEET 16th to FAIZ, which falls on last Friday, 22 August 2008
*chap teng2* ( you better tell me, what's that, if not im going to taplek you! )

here's something random : i want to go to EUROPE on 11 September * v desperate, now* please.. please! i want to see ___ ! any kind souls who are willing to get a flight ticket to EUROPE & bring me there as well? *SMILE WIDELY*

im beginning to get sick. i feel like puking but nothing to puke. my head's dizzy & i feel weak all over. eyes are tired, nose is running & i have been sneezing non-stop. the worst is, my sore throat, im having trouble swallowing & breathing. i desperately need some medication & panadols has lost its effectiveness on me. i hate being sick & im not in the mood for any doctor. i hope to get well soon cause i hate this sick feeling. dear god, please help me.

i took a half-day leave on Thursday & i skipped school on Friday as well because the little migrane that attacked me on the Thursday morning had lead me to the condtition im in right now. i've been wasting & sleeping my day away eversince. whats more in this cold weather, i've been covering myself up with a thick blanket & my condition has worsen.

i wanted to apologize & explain things to NEHHHBRO but he wouldn't want to hear me. we're supposed to go out as planned last week either yesterday or today but i couldn't make it on both days because of the state im in right now. oh wells, its not his fault anyway, i didn't get the chance to tell him that IM SICK! maybe after he has cool down. what a waste, im missing all the fun that im supposed to have *sighs*

it seems that, i'll be spending my weekends rotting at home & lieing on my beatiful bed.

i have a phobia for love. once bitten, twice shy, i've to be extra careful now.

mixed emotions, what is going on? why am i so fucking into him? why can't i stop? why can't i let him go? why have i kept him wondering around my mind for so long? why am i longing & hoping for him?

good things for me NEVER last & i don't know why. what have i done wrong to be hurt like this? he was my first SERIOUS, as in long-term, relationship & he did made me truly happy once but now he's a jackass. i wish he didn't change. i wish he was the ONE thing that didn't have to turn out bad. what sucks, is i've to put up with all this drama & pain when i actually still love him with all my heart which im really really really trying not to. i know, i don't miss him. i miss the guy i thought he was, i miss the good&bad times we had, i miss that feeling i got whenever i speak to him. i REALLY don't want to love him but i do. i just want to get over him & move on but the problem is im not hating more & loving him less ever since but the other way round instead. i tried giving myself tons of reasons to get rid of this ridiculous "obsession". i just can't bring myself to regard him as everyone else. sometimes, i wonder if im under his " love spell ".

i love him. i love him so much. i hate him. i hate him. i hate him so much that i want to tear him open just like how he tore me open but i'll still love him too. * continues to untie the nervous knots in my stomach * i don't know how this can be, really, but it just is. it's just one of those things that has no explanation.

P/S: thanks ah bitch, you ruin my relationship & my life. damn you. even if you have gotten your karma, im still ain't happy with it, everything.

i was movie-marathoning during the weekend & i had to watched The Dark Knight & The Mummy again. i think i forgot to mention this, i accidentally fell asleep while watching them with yaya because the day before, i didn't get enough sleep & so i missed on some parts therefore i have to watch it all over again in order to get the whole story. i would rate both of it a 4.5/5 & i like the part where the joker said " Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was....a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife,"Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth. "Lets put a smile on that face!" And..... Why so serious? " Scary you know with his face expression that way. Joker = physco. i even get to watch Prom Night, another scary movie but it was good thou. i shouldn't have listen to what WANEHHH say when she said that it wasn't good. *regrets* movies not yet released like meet dave, forgetting sarah marshall, mamma mia, where in the world is Osama Bin Laden? as well as the Nc-16 movie ( sorry but i just had to stress on the word Nc-16) The Love Guru. i would rate it a 4/5. kinda lame, only on some parts, but i could not deny it was hilarious. i recommend you people to watch it, a must watch. " Give me a pound. Lock it down. Break the pickle, tickle tickle. " - that shall be "OUR" handshake from now on *winks*

i just had both double chocolate & caramel frappe. be jealous people, i get to drink two different kind of frappes at the same time. call me greedy, i don't care, as long as im happy & satisfy :D thanks to NEHHHBRO who came all the way from tampines to gombak just to deliver two ________ frappes. as a result, it MELTED & so i had to freeze it again. as p.romised, WE DID THAT HANDSHAKE! I GOT TICKLED NON-STOP IN PUBLIC & PEOPLE SAW ME SCREAMING AWAY LIKE A MAD WOMAN. *v embarassing* -_- ihateyou. pffffft!

Shaiful accompanied me to the bustop today & i introduced him to that cutie at the bridge. he kept going "ohh-ahh-ewww" jealous or what?! :D

PRELIMS are over! but that's not the end because i still have Ns. the last day of examination are always the best, for me, because for every examination i sat for, the last one will always be Art. 3 hours for Art will always be a never enough for me. i was rushing to finish it up during the Sa1 & now, im still rushing to finish it up for Prelims. All thanks to Faiz & his "whatever-cap-teng2". eventhough the Art students are the smallest group compared to F&N & D&T but can be labelled as the noisiest group. from the start to during to the end of the exam, we were mumbling,laughing,talking&making jokes like nobodys bussiness.

for the first time, i felt that History & Maths paper 1 are quite easy but still, i don't have any confidence that i can pass. no paper on Monday which means NO SCHOOL! *FINALLY* im going to make sure i will wake up very very late & i want to go out & go back late so that i don't have to come to school Tuesday! :D

today is Joseph Adam Jonas 19th Birthday! :D & im going to snatch him back from NURATIKAHRASMAN *seemekillher* LAUGHOUTLOUD


P/S: im falling head over heels for caucasian dudes *SMILES*

FRIDAY; my plans & surprises for her didn't went on smoothly. i had everything sorted out nicely but it was almost ruined. luckly, the movie timings only differ abit. first movie was The Mummy : tomb of the dragon emperor followed by The Dark Knight, the movie which we have been want-ing to watch, but sadly we still haven't get the chance to watch Promnight. afterwhich we procedd to LJS &guess who we saw there. another ex student from batok whom i have v much, none other than, SHEILA. those who know her, good for you. those who dosen't, well too bad. we kept staring & looking (as in jeling) at each other. the sight of her makes me want to pukeee! afterwhich, we proceed to L9 ; E2max, the place where tons of HOOOT Caucasian(s) are scattering around. i'll never get sick/bored of going there because they're so f HOT! i screamed at YAYA when i saw different kinds of them. there's this particular Caucasian in a group, with Mats, he's so HOT & F SEXY, because he's bald, i melted the moment i saw him & we exchanged smiles :D we even saw Samuie, the Baps *ew?!* gotta there close to 10 & reached home almost to 11. eventhough, i din't get to window-shop & walk around town but at least i had my "FUN" there *winks*

SATURDAY; i hate NEHHHBRO for the last minute cancellation of our firework date. stayed at home for the whole day with family. it was fun still because they're able to make me LAUGHOUTLOUD & happy 43rd singapore.

SUNDAY; spend half of the day at yaya's crib. her momma asked me to went over because she's giving out some clothings. thanks yawww, it was beautifuul!

& the whole of today was spend on doing N level art. im totally worn out from the going in and out of house for so many times just to photocopy a couple of papers. i was in a foul mood all day long. people called, people texted, i ignored & sorry-to-whoever who called me for alot of times. i don't want any disturbance when im busy or else you'll get it from me. i've yet to study for tml's paper. no more time left, it's late now. i need some sleep. bye people, im off to lala landd :D

he managed to cool down after sometime & talk things out in a nice kinda way. after sorting out things, misunderstandings between us last night, we're still friends. things may not be the same like before but at least we're alright now.

im still in the process of healing & sometimes, i just break down. crying dosen't help & bring back things but it sure feels good to let it out. there is no point waiting for someone who dosen't appreciate you. i don't see why you should make yourself an unhappy person & continue staying with someone who dosen't want you.

i cried silently in class just now. i was reminiscing the past & how my heart got broken for so many times within a year. from that darling jerk of used-to-be-mine & now my pillar of strength who went hiding again. i've yet to figured out why but it seems that i've been screwing up all my recent relationship(s). i don't wish to get heartbroken again & hurt any soul labelled, guy. that explains why i've been avoiding you Epit. after maman went missing, you were the one who has always made my day. thanks for that but i just can't bring myself to layan (idk what's that in english) *YOU GUYS* anymore. that applys to you too, NEHHHBRO.

for the first time, i enjoyed History lesson simply because i spent an hour plus hearing story-telling from girlfriend & how she's enjoying life right now. jealous it may seems but still, im happy for her. go on girl, you have my support! if owl dare to hurt you in whatever ways, do inform me cause im gonna lenyek him & turn him to a penyek owl. one more thing, stop thinking of giving him up after the two-year-plus waiting(?). psst, bring it to the next level, baby :)


just remember it is a transition phase and everyone can get over it.

heartpain after heartpain.

yesterday's heartpain not yet healed. im not mad, just sad with you. guys will always be guys. one after another kept proving me wrong. good guys dosen't exist anymore. i keep telling myself - there is still good guys around, only that they're still hidden or stucked somewhere but yet *YOU GUYS* keep proving me wrong. *YOU GUYS* keep behaving like jerks. 8 years apart of me - you're nomore a child, you're alr a matured man for goodness sake, please behave like one. continue behaving like this & i tell you, i will ignore you totally! mark my words. im giving you one last chance, you'd better treasure it.

i went to check my ATM balance money just now & guess what .. *HEARTPAINNNN!* momma really did it! she won't be transfering this month allowance just because i accidentally use up all her 300bucks in it. explanation after explanation, yet she still ignores it. i told her alr that im going to return her back all the 300bucks back by the end of next month but still .. *SEE WHAT HAPPEN* now i only have a pathetic one buck & idk how many cents left in my acc *SIGHS*

oh yes, i screwed up my papers. from mt to english to ss. there won't be anymore papers after today & the rest of the papers will only resume next week which means tml onwards, lessons resume as per normal *SIGHS* i was right in saying that prelims are going to very difficult *SEE WHAT HAPPEN!*

PS: i saw this hot hot hot stripey greenwhite guy at the bus interchange just now & i swear, i couldn't take my eyes off him. he was so fucking hot, no lie! *SMILES WIDELY, WIDER THAN USUAL*

SYED MONZIL BIN SYED ABDUL RAHMAN SHAHAB.
this is late grandpa & he's death has alr been published in the newspaper (Berita Harian) last friday. if you people want to see the clearer version of his picture, go&find&read last's friday newspaper, you'll see this.

i had a great weekend *smiles widely* i went nowhere. study-ing with girlfriends as usual was cancelled & so was the outing on sunday with NEHHH. i didn't even went to late grandpa's tahlil on saturday. i stayed at home on both days & was hogging on the phone most of the time with NEHHH BRO. only you know, what we did & how much fun we had last weekend eventhough it was just through the phone. don't forget our date & fireworks this weekend *winks*

oh yes, Prelim just started today & i've only studied abit for tml's SS paper. god!

after the paper, wik & i rushed to WM because she couldn't stand any longer, she has been craving it for a longgg period of time.

*PRESENTING* ------- GUESS WHERE WE ARE.

spent close to 50bucks & it is definitely worth it! when's our next date? this time at Heeren, okay? with more people *smiles*

currently, im waiting for NEHHHBRO to finish work & afterwhich, we'll talk on the phone all night

take one step at a time, there's no need to rush
it's like learning to fly or falling in love
it's gonna happen, when it's, supposed to happen
& you'll know the reason why

could be yours, one day *smiles*


P/S; you'll be dead on the 18th biatch!

thank god its friday! * smiles widely * but im not looking forward for the weekend.

because im going to study & revise for the coming prelims, alone. its getting me crazy & i have to finish my 5 boards no matter what.

another hectic week.
teachers been drilling us with only TYS during lessons & it works, literally. prelims on monday & im so not prepared yet! but if we fail for prelims it will be alright, won't it? it won't be counted for Ns right? i can't wait to sit for Ns - idk why, i just have that feeling to go through it quickly. HOHOHO! this past few weeks has been a rather sad week for me & girlfriends - FRIENDSHIP problems. one after another fighting because of a small mis-understanding but there won't be any get-back-together for the guyfriends. unless they change their frigging behaviour & zip their big mouth, maybe i/we will consider to be friends with them again. if not, i won't allow any of my girlfriends to communicate with them until they've really really repent.

dheQIs. last year pic; we went break-fasting together at Bagus & we went to Geylang w/o eera because she's ____ & i went home in a druken state,rmb?
what happen to us? i won't be talking about this if one of you didn't bring out about this matter. where has the Qis gone to? where's kiwak? where's kiwek? where's kiwik? where's kiwuk? each of you are always busy with your own life *sighs* that includes me, of course. Qis, if you get the chance to read this : do you remember when's the last time the Qis went out together? it was when we went to Anand house & that wasn't even an outing. the last outing was celebrating wek's birthday, rmb? & when was that? 5 DECEMBER 2007. i hope, that you all will organise another outing AFTER N'S & enjoy ourself like the good old times. at the same time, we could also sort things out right? for now, just concentrate on studies & i hope that we will be promoted to sec 5 together.

imy, razman. i hope the private phonecalls i've received all this while, is from you.